There are geckos in my risotto. Really…well one anyways. They look especially disgusting when cooked. Or burnt. Let me explain…
I had a hankering for a seafood risotto the other day. I had half a package of risotto left. All I needed was the stock, wine and the seafood. I have some very nice spices and herbs in the pantry.
I sauteed the seafood, then using the same paella pan, dumped in the risotto and started to cook. I noticed ants in the risotto. Ants! I hate ants… “I’m not cooking anymore” I said to myself.
As I am dumping the uncooked rice into the rubbish bin, I noticed a black oddly shaped object in the bin, mixed in with the risotto and the damn ants. At first I thought it might have been burnt rice, however, I wasn’t cooking long enough to burn anything. Or so I thought. Upon closer inspection I was horrified to find a three inch gecko toasted nicely. Its legs were spread out and it was quite flat and dead. Was it dead before I started cooking? Did it die an undignified death in my paella pan? I shall never know. Nor do I care to know…!

I put the seafood into a container and fridge vowing to never leave a half box of anything in the pantry. Thats what fridges are for. I went into the cupboards and removed as well as completely inspected the contents of everything. My fridge and freezer are now home to pretty much everything that I could cram into them.

Gross. And I was hungry. What to do? I ordered out…

See you around,

Mike